New Jersey Rain Issues Cease and Desist Against Residents for Incessant Whining.
A Recent Storm System Claims 'Emotional Distress' and Demands Recompense for Decades of Being Blamed for Ruined Plans and Damp Socks.
The cumulative precipitation over New Jersey has officially issued a cease and desist order against the state's residents, demanding an immediate halt to what it terms 'decades of emotional abuse and incessant, unfounded complaints.' The filing, delivered via an unusually dense thundercloud over Newark, cites a pervasive culture of victimhood regarding entirely predictable atmospheric conditions.
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