Groundbreaking Study Reveals Social Enterprise Founders Work Better When Not Clinically Dead

Groundbreaking Study Reveals Social Enterprise Founders Work Better When Not Clinically Dead

Researchers at the Institute for Sustainable Altruism Metrics Confirm What Millennia of Human Existence Have Vaguely Suggested: People Are More Productive When Their Internal Organs Are Performing Basic Biological Functions.

NEW YORK, NY — A monumental new study from the Center for Philanthropic Resource Optimization (CPRO) has unveiled a stunning insight: social enterprise founders demonstrate significantly enhanced 'impact delivery metrics' when they are not, in fact, actively collapsing from exhaustion or suffering cardiac arrest at their desks. The findings, published Tuesday, challenge long-held industry assumptions that sheer willpower and unbridled passion could indefinitely counteract the biological need for sleep, nutrition, and basic sanity.

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