Airbnb’s New AI Will Determine If Your July 4th 'Gathering' Is Sufficiently Joyless

Airbnb’s New AI Will Determine If Your July 4th 'Gathering' Is Sufficiently Joyless

The Company's 'Celebration Compliance Algorithm' Will Reportedly Flag Spontaneous Happiness, Unauthorized Mingling, and Any Discernible 'Vibe' Above 'Mildly Pleasant Background Noise'.

SAN FRANCISCO — In a move to further optimize guest behavior, Airbnb announced it is deploying an advanced Artificial Intelligence system this July 4th weekend, specifically designed to detect and penalize instances of actual fun. Dubbed the “Festivity Mitigation Protocol (FMP),” the AI promises to ensure that all holiday stays adhere to strict corporate standards of docile, revenue-generating quietude.

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