Colorado Voters Flock to Candidate Boasting 'Early Start' in Executive Action

Colorado Voters Flock to Candidate Boasting 'Early Start' in Executive Action

The Gubernatorial Hopeful's Alleged Childhood Homicide Is Resonating with an Electorate Tired of Candidates Who Only *talk* Tough.

DENVER, CO — In a surprising political development, Colorado’s Republican gubernatorial candidate, Marvin "The Machete" McHammer, has seen a significant surge in polling numbers following revelations he claimed to have killed a man when he was seven years old. Political analysts are attributing the unexpected boost to what supporters are calling McHammer's "unprecedented transparency" and "decisive leadership at a formative age."

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