UK Gilt Market Issues Formal Directive: ‘govern Responsibly or Face Consequences, Plebs’

UK Gilt Market Issues Formal Directive: ‘govern Responsibly or Face Consequences, Plebs’

The Newly Self-Appointed Supreme Authority Has Clarified Its Absolute Dominion Over All Future Fiscal and Monetary Policy Decisions, Rendering Traditional Democratic Processes Largely Decorative.

LONDON — In a move widely anticipated by anyone who owns a calculator, the UK gilt market has officially declared its unilateral authority over the British government. A terse, three-page communiqué, released via an automated Bloomberg terminal alert, informed Downing Street that all future economic policy must first pass a rigorous 'viability review' conducted by an undisclosed algorithm and a consortium of highly liquid, anonymous bond traders. Failure to comply will result in immediate and punitive market-driven 'readjustments.'

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