AMC Unveils 'Live' Concert Experience, Redefining 'Live' as 'Something Happening Somewhere Else Right Now.'

AMC Unveils 'Live' Concert Experience, Redefining 'Live' as 'Something Happening Somewhere Else Right Now.'

The Struggling Theater Chain Promises an Unprecedented Opportunity to Sit Quietly and Watch a Professionally Filmed Event, Just Like You Could at Home, but with More Sticky Surfaces.

In a bold move to salvage its dwindling relevance, AMC Theatres today announced a groundbreaking new "live concert experience," where audiences can gather in multiplexes nationwide to watch performances streamed from actual concert venues. Company executives hailed the initiative as a revolutionary redefinition of "live," which now apparently encompasses any event occurring concurrently with its broadcast to a passive audience, regardless of physical proximity or interactive potential. Tickets for these "live" events, featuring artists ranging from pop sensations to classic rock legends, are priced competitively with actual live performances, ensuring the maximum possible disconnect between value and reality.

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